Today is one of those days which forms one of those weeks, which is rapidly turning into one of those months when I just feel down. Blue, miserable, bummed; however you say it, that’s how I feel. Until yesterday, I thought everyone would know how I feel when I say that it just feels like everything is too much. Things I usually deal with suddenly feel too much. Then I told someone who isn’t really familiar with that feeling and I realised that maybe we don’t all get like this, it’s just the special ones of us who struggle day-to-day to get up and smile. Now you might be wondering why that little bit is relevant…well, it’s relevant because if other people don’t get like this, then it’s obviously not the standard human state and that means I can change it.
I’ve got a whole load of things I want to change and a lot of them are physical / health related and I already know they will take months, if not years of hard slog to fix but I’ve decided to look on the bright side. I must expend an inordinate amount of energy on negative feelings; not through choice but I’m not really putting up much of a fight either. What if I took even half of that energy and spent it doing positive things? Well, firstly I’d need to be very self-aware to catch myself in the act of feeling negative, but I am so that’s fine. Secondly, if I did all of these positive things, surely some of the things I feel blue about would start to get sorted and I’d have less things bashing around my head making me feel so tired and drained. In turn, that would then give me more energy to spend doing positive things!
So this is my Spring resolution; I’m going to take that negative energy and make it positive. It sounds easy but I’m sure it’s going to be quite tough at first and it’s going to take some working out to understand what I can do to actually make this a reality. I’m already on track though, check out my current examples of things I have done:
1.) I am totally broke, anyone who is a regular reader knows I have a mountain of debts and I shop to cure my boredom and depression. Recently this has been bugging me more than usual and I keep feeling like I don’t have enough money to live within my monthly pay cheque and socialise even a little bit. Today I was stressing about this big time and getting mighty miserable about it, so I took action. I logged in to my online banking and checked up on where all my cash has gone. Before I knew it, I found I have spent £500 on shopping and socialising already this month because I’ve had a couple of birthdays and took my parents out for dinner, etc. £500. Let me say that again, £500. And I’m telling myself I can’t live on my salary??? Pah! I’ve got loads of money, I’m just not using it properly. Tonight, I will be enlisting the help of a certain someone to sort my budgeting out to make sure that next month I have change from my £500 and I’ve had loads of fun!
2.) This afternoon I’ve been sat at my desk not in the mood for work at all, literally feeling soooooooooo low it’s unreal. My mind has been buzzing round and round in circles thinking about things I can do nothing about whilst at work and wishing for instant solutions I simply will not find. So I thought some more and decided that I wasn’t settling for that this Tuesday, I was darned well going to make my day better and the way I was going to do it was by writing. So here I am, chit chatting away to you about nothing more than the slightly weird thoughts in my head but it’s making me happy!
So you see, whilst I might not be working any miracles, I’m already using some of my negative energy to find positive solutions to my problems. Yes, those are two fairly minor examples and it’s not always that easy but it is day 1 of this resolution and my change in mindset is already making me feel happier and more like I can overcome the mountains I see before me; I’m just going to do it one molehill at a time! If you have any great tips for turning bad thoughts into good ones, I’d love to hear from you! Happy Tuesday people 🙂 x
30 Something Dreamer 