A Tale of Two Wardrobes


There’s something been bugging me recently and it’s taken me a while to figure it out. I’ve noticed that I’m pretty much out of wardrobe space, yet I have nothing to wear and I don’t mean the usual nothing to wear, I mean literally nothing. First of all, I thought it was the change in seasons, “I’ll be too hot in that”, “That’s too summery for today”, etc. but now that it’s fully summer and I’ve re-opened my summer stock of clothes, I’m still stuck.

So what is it?

Well, this evening I went to put some laundry away and noticed that once again there’s no space for it, despite the fact that I only do laundry when I’m out of things to wear. So I started mooching through my clothes, figuring I must have loads of old tat hanging around that needs to be gone. I don’t.

What I have is a tale of two wardrobes. Fat Sam vs. Thin Sam.

This is the first time in my adult life that I’ve encountered this problem and that’s why it’s taken me so long to figure out. For a good 15 or so years, I was a size 10, occasionally dipping into an 8. Suddenly I’m a size 12 and my old clothes don’t fit. Like actually can’t get them on or do them up don’t fit. My metabolism is failing me and my willpower is like an under-used muscle, (which all of mine are) and it hurts every time I try and use it!

I’ve bloody well gone up a clothes size and I’m not even 30 yet. Shit the bloody bed.

Never even mind the weight, my main concern is the clothing. What does one do in this situation, admit defeat and donate the smaller sized clothes to charity or kid oneself that weight loss is imminent and those clothes will be essential at that time? I’ve never had to lose weight before and I genuinely don’t know whether I can do it. I’ve done it by accident before but that was 6 years ago and not a pound has been shed since. In fact, I’ve been slowly gaining many pounds over that entire time.

This is a genuine dilemma; I need fewer clothes in my life as there’s no chance of increasing wardrobe capacity right now, but do I vote fat or thin? Delicious food or hideous exercise? Most likely, I’ll bury my head in the sand, hope for a weight loss miracle (raspberry ketones already on order) and keep adding to my collection of clothing until I can no longer fit in my dressing room. (Because of the vast array of clothing, not because I got that fat…though I won’t rule that out either.)

What would a sane person do? Help a girl out, peeps! x

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