Having been single for a couple of months now, one thing I have spent a lot of time thinking about is men – much more so that I did when I was with one (not sure if that is normal or indicative of the reasons my relationship broke down!). The sorts of things I think about are whether I want another boyfriend, what I’d want said boyfriend to be like, where I will meet him and to be honest, whether I can actually be bothered with dealing with all of the above. Let’s face it, relationships take up a lot of your time and given that I have mainly been in relationships rather than single, it might be time to just think about me for a while.
Regardless of what I decide re the boyfriend though, I’m definitely not giving up men full stop. There’s so much fun to be had with meeting new guys and no, I don’t just mean getting down and dirty fun, I mean sometimes you meet people you just click with and have a great time. It doesn’t have to turn into anything to be a great time, you can just enjoy it at face value right there and then! However, there are so many obstacles and pot holes on the dating scene that I never even knew were there; I always thought the ladies in SATC were exaggerating but already, just a few dates in, I’ve found some of these problem areas! So I’m putting it out there to see what the rest of you think – how does this “dating” thing work? Here’s my theory:
Frogs are just normal guys. It really is like the princess and the frog story – sometimes you kiss a frog and he turns into a prince (more on those later). Sometimes you kiss a frog and he remains a frog, that’s all there is to it! It’s ok to kiss lots of frogs and sometimes all you and the frog want to do is kiss; that’s ok too because you both know where you stand. Problem areas with frogs are when they turn into toads or when they want to be your prince but all you see is frog. Already in this measly short time of being single, I’ve found myself a standard frog and a frog who wants to be a prince – needless to say, I’ve had to “friend zone” the frog who wants to be a prince!
Ugh! Toads are vile creatures and tend to either be upfront and toad-like from the off; some women seem to be attracted to this. Expect these toads to be the ones that forget your name when you’ve only been chatting 5 mins or the ones staring at another girl whilst talking to you. Or, toads masquerade in the clothing of frogs and even princes! You think they’re normal and you’re having a great time, you kiss him and thing he’s the best thing since sliced bread. He’ll feed you compliments and show you “the real him”, you’ll start to let your guard down and then BOOM! He doesn’t call or text, he misses a date, he just vanishes off the face of the earth. You’re left wondering WTF happened there? A word of advice ladies, never give a toad a second chance, he’ll still be a toad and you’ll just feel foolish for doing so!
Sadly I have already encountered a toad as well. I’m not sure how I was suckered in, I’m usually far too cynical to let my guard down so easily; I think it was because I already knew him and he was on his second chance…Oops!
Awwww! Princes are just adorable and do not fear, there is more than one prince out there for you. Princes are the guys who you end up feeling like you couldn’t live without; the ones who make your life a brighter place and make you want to spend every moment of every day with them and do weird things like cook for them! It’s not that princes are few and far between, it’s just that the compatibility has to be perfect to find a true prince. Sometimes you even find a prince and later on you realise he was just a frog – note that these are different from toads. As people grow older, they change so someone who was once your prince can become just a frog again. If a prince changes into a toad, he was always a toad.
So now I’ve pretty much covered off the differences between what I would consider to be the 3 types of blokes, I’d like to establish 1 ground rule and this bit is for the men to hear: JUST BE YOU! If you are frog, be a frog and one day somebody will see you as their prince. If you are a toad, put it out there; some women are just drawn to toads and they’re probably the type of women you want. If you are a prince, well, revel in it because you’re only a prince because somebody thinks you are. Don’t try and pretend you’re just a frog or a toad, keep being the prince that she wants.
Obviously the dating game is massive and there are loads of caveats and funny rules but essentially I believe in what I have said above. I’d love to hear from you, male or female to get your point of view on all of this too 🙂 x