Since my last post I have officially become an adult! Yes, I know I was 25 then and I’m still 25 now but so much has changed! The bf and I now live together!
I’ve had ages to adjust to this decision and prepare myself for the actual event but nothing could have prepared me for the feeling of shock that ensued. It started off easy, just me packing up my things and moving home for a few weeks whilst waiting for my new place. A week later it got a whole lot more scary as we packed up his things and moved him into my parents’ home for a few weeks… he… moved… in… with ME! Argh!
I tried to be cool and calm and all of those things that people tell you you should be in these situations but in reality I was a raving loon! I tried to welcome him in but instead I ranted at him and told him it was weird him being in my house and that if it wasn’t my parents that own the house we are moving to in a few weeks then I would have pulled out by now – I was totally queen bitch! I couldn’t help it, the weeks (and months) of panic about this had to come out at some point and that was it, it was just a shame that he happened to be on the receiving end.
Luckily he was unbelievably understanding, said he knew I’d react like that and had only hoped that the reaction wouldn’t be quite so OTT. Where does he get off being so level headed!?! It worked though – well that plus a night in a separate bed, breakfast in bed and him leaving me alone for the whole of Sunday morning! I managed to get over the mess that was in my head and am just about coping with the situation now. The thing is it just feels so unnatural – I totally don’t get the whole wanting someone there for hugs, etc. thing, I like being on my own and the idea that I have committed to this person for goodness knows how long is crazy scary! What if I finally decide to move somewhere random and get a job I love , I’ll have to consider someone else…essentially I am selfish! However, what works in my favour is that I live in dream land so I am very unlikely to actually do any of the above!
It has however made me realise I am even more crazy than I had previously admitted to. One of my friends even said that she loves me because my emotions are so obvious and I display all of the things that other people keep so well hidden. How do you hide this damn stuff – seriously, anyone got any hints or tips!?!
Now I have publicly aired my insanity, I think I’m going to go and hug my bf and tell him how amazing he is in the hope that he won’t ever reach the point where my craziness loses its charm!!!
30 Something Dreamer 